Buick Enclave Rental Car Review

"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo) 02/02/2019 at 13:12 • Filed to: None

1

31

Holy shit, this thing is crappy. Really, really crappy.

It sucks. It is big and awkward on the road, and manages to feel bigger and awkw arder than it actually is. Everything it it works just badly enough to be infuriating. I actually turned the radio off because it is a pain in my ass. Silence is better. What it lacks in functionality, it makes up for by being boring inside. Seats are horrifyingly uncomfortable, and have a demon possessed lumbar support.

It has that annoying feature where it turns off when it stops, so I feel like I am constantly stalling, and I have to remind myself to turn the engine off, because it shuts off when you stop but you still have to push the button

And this goddamn thing. Who the fuck decided that the basic slushbox shifter , which works perfectly fine, needed a redesign? Particularly a redesign that is counterintuitive and makes everything about it worse. The people who designed this are bad engineers. Hey assholes, if you want to change it up, put it back on the steering column where it belongs. At least that was fun.

In short, this is a shitty car that no one should ever buy. In fact, you should not rent this car. If they offer it, take the little Hyundai instead. Buick, you need to rethink your life. Pumpkin does not approve of your choices.

RacinBob > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 13:31

1

Amen to the “ Autostall” feature. It saves the manufacturer millions in gas guzzler taxes while ruining the ownership experience. The only way to defeat it is to shift into neutral at every stop,. No thanks. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 13:32

2

and this why europe doesnt buy murican :p

we do it better

(also we make cars that fit on our streets)

benjrblant > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 02/02/2019 at 13:46

3

50ford500 > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 13:58

0

I mean it can’t be any worse than the Acadia can it now? I call my wife’s the road pig because I hate it of course it’s a last gen but it still sucks

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > benjrblant 02/02/2019 at 14:10

1

yeah well.. but...

hrm...

WilliamsSW > RacinBob 02/02/2019 at 14:11

0

You can shut it off in some cars. All I have to do is push the “ eco” button in my Merc and BMW is similar. Not   sure about Buick.

JeepJeremy > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 14:19

0

there’s a cool orange Honda Element in that first pic!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 14:21

1

I don't have any faith in the longevity of vehicles with the "stall" feature. Seems like a cheap way to hit fuel economy benchmarks. Did you say you have to start it up with the button every time? That's an even WORSE design

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 14:32

4

Almost 50,000 suckers bought this last year

http://gmauthority.com/blog/gm/buick/enclave/buick-enclave-sales-numbers/

412GTI > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 14:37

1

I hate GM seats and can rarely get comfortable in them because of the lumbar like you noticed. Like GM the seats don’t need to come standard with extra lumbar . Then again maybe the 78-year-olds that buy these like it.

Also, can we talk about the interior? How is that premium? Look like shit and nothing that commands near 50k. 

lone_liberal > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 15:32

2

Sounds terrible. I’m dreading what Budget is going to inflict on me when I go on vacation in 3 weeks.

TrannyBane > RacinBob 02/02/2019 at 16:32

2

Theres a company called Start Stop Eliminator that sells a replacement button for it that makes the default setting to have the feature off.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 17:14

1

Good lord that shifter. Can you even move it to neutral from drive? I used to do that all the time in my Hyundai for a little extra mileage boost. Super easy to do a half assed rev match back into drive, too.

Also yes, absolutely take the tiny Hyundai if offered. They’re incredible cars if you can fit in them. Accent is teeny still.

RacinBob > TrannyBane 02/02/2019 at 17:21

0

Cool idea., too bad it’s limited to GM pickups. There’s a better selection of Ford products. 

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 18:15

1

If you depress the gas pedal and brake at the same time the engine will not turn off, in addition stop light starts will be slightly brisker. 

JerseyPaul > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 18:38

3

I own a 2017 LaCrosse tha t has many of the same features as described in the article and they are all excellent once you get used to them. Takes about a week, which is longer tha n the average rental period. Get your head out of your ass. This review is an embarassment to this website. Incidentally, m y previous car was an Infiniti G35X, which was excellent, but too small and is a notch below my beloved Buick!

Gerry197 > RacinBob 02/02/2019 at 20:16

0

Most cars have a defeat button, however it’s on by default so you have to turn off start/stop manually at first.

My F150 has that feature, however I only drive my truck a couple of times a week, so my battery never has 100%  charge to actually activate start/stop, so it’s rarely an issue for me.  

Tristan > JerseyPaul 02/02/2019 at 20:28

4

The famous h ostages in Stockholm were held in the vault for 6 days... Sounds about right.

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > ImmoralMinority 02/02/2019 at 23:45

0

Dude.

That’s not an Enclave.

That’s a fleet; a trim that Buick doesn’t even sell to the public. The giveaway is the seats and the infotainment setup. (BTW, everyone else is right: you used the Infotainment wrong. The IntelliLink system is the version that nobody bitches about. HMU might’ve been FUBAR though.)

Anyhow, an actual Enclave Essence has two live buttons on the left side of the infotainment screen. Top button is traction control, bottom button is I forget what and if equipped the middle button is the AWD button. Also, it’s an old person car. Do you really think that Buick fucks around with lumbar support? FUCK NO. Not a chance in hell. Hard to use infotainment? Also FUCK NO.

Wait, it gets worse... that’s the discontinued 7" screen, not the 8" screen.  So yeah. You reviewed a car you can’t buy (except from Enterprise Car Sales at a price well above KBB and a sub-subprime loan) that was probably broken as hell to boot. HMU also controls the seat memory.

Spot on about the retarded shifter though. Which was a new for 2018 feature. That literally takes up the exact same amount of space as the straight front-to-back shifter used for the prior years.

BahamaTodd > RacinBob 02/03/2019 at 00:35

0

I don’t mind the stop/start in my Regal at all. If I know I’ll need to start off quicker than usual , all I have to do is move the shifter to manual and back. No more effort than an actual manual.

MadMardigan > ImmoralMinority 02/03/2019 at 00:51

0

Yea, people who can’t use a smartphone are going to struggle with this car. I assume that you have a flip-phone if you can’t figure out how to use the simple-as-fuck shifter. Most modern cars have some form of this selector style shifter. I bet y ou really do think shift on the column is cool and f un. Ha! Buick seats are super comfy. You just have to know how to adjust them to your body type. Rental probably has the manual lumbar “rolling pin” ... which admittedly does suck but can be rolled out of place with ease. I have the 2019 Avenir, and love the 310 hp and 9-speed trans. Makes a long car feel nimble and quick. Being a family man, the 3rd row is a necessity but I like the space and handling. It isn’t my two-seater ‘90 Reatta convertible or my 2000 H-D Softail Deuce but I’ve embraced my 40's with my first full-size “Dad Car” and still feel like the tech-sav vy gen-x champ I am. Although, I do miss my locking- differential true 4x4 Jeep, this AWD thing gets me by in the snow. I’m wondering what you would review as an ideal modern vehicle in this category. Have you driven an XT4 yet?

PyramidHat > ImmoralMinority 02/03/2019 at 09:06

0

Push lever forward to go backwards?  Interesting, interesting...

Amoore100 > ImmoralMinority 02/03/2019 at 09:24

1

I think it’s almost kind of funny that you’re surprised it’s bad. I feel like this ain’t that far removed from all the rental Impalas and Grand Caravans out there , it’s just that when you’re not in the market for white-good cars you forget why the Japanese brands own these categories. There may not be such a thing as a bad car anymore, but there certainly are very annoying cars.

His Stigness > Tristan 02/03/2019 at 20:01

0

By “excellent” he meant “I have no choice as I did not drive any other car before buying this.”

Tristan > His Stigness 02/03/2019 at 20:09

1

Like the average Camry buyer who buys cars like I buy socks. My Criteria: White; are socks. Camry criteria: white or beige; is car.

Test drive? No. Shopping around? Can’t be bothered.

His Stigness > Tristan 02/03/2019 at 20:12

0

It’s a Toyota, therefore, it must be the best value, best to drive, best to own, cheapest to own, etc.

What’s what? The engine and transmission are fifteen years old but the car still costs more than a comparable one with a BRAND NEW POWERTRAIN?

Toyota life bro!

Tristan > His Stigness 02/03/2019 at 20:23

0

They’re cars for people who hate cars.

CB > ImmoralMinority 02/03/2019 at 20:29

1

I drove a rental Buick Encore. It was also miserable. I'm beginning to feel that Buick rebadge jobs are generally that way.

His Stigness > Tristan 02/03/2019 at 20:35

0

And hate value for money. 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > ImmoralMinority 02/03/2019 at 21:23

1

Why I rented a Benz lol

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ImmoralMinority 02/04/2019 at 16:07

1

ImmoralMinority, mincer of words, and here, not least.

And you know what else? It probably had a CVT.

So it was that good? I hate that engine-shutting-off thing. But doesn’t it have to be a hybrid to do that?